For clarification, this is a funny satirical article I found on the internet...
"Hi! I bet you forgot I even existed! I’m that annoying friend of yours who has gone abroad for a quarter. Now I’m going to tell you and 50 other randomly selected people about it in great detail.
I’m currently residing in a foreign country for the quarter. Man, what a trip. I’ve been going to bars like every night and everybody is so nice here. I’ve met some guys from Florida and they are like totally rad. I’m putting pictures of them up on my blog.
See, that’s us posing hilariously in front of that world-renowned monument. Isn’t it funny that we’re doing that ridiculously inappropriate gesture?! I’ve bet you’ve never seen it before.
And man, there are so many hot women here. I feel like I’ve really gotten to know the locales, so many different peoples and stuff. I’ve grown, dude. Like just last night I went into a bar and I met this totally hot girl from Cal State Chico and I’m so glad I got to go abroad and meet such unique and interesting people. They don’t even have In-N-Out near her! I mean, I’ve met people from Chico, Kansas, Syracuse, even from South Beach! We all speak the language together so we’re all getting really good. Now that I know how to order a beer, I don’t have to just point.
My language abilities are really improving. Like right now I’m going to include a local saying in my e-mail to you that is both timeless and in a foreign language. It will be poorly translated and make no sense but it sounds cool and my friend decided to get it tattooed on her back: “Les yeux dans mes pantalons.” Doesn’t that sound authentic? You’d never know that I have no idea what I’m talking about.
I don’t want to weigh you down with discussion of classes, dude. I’ll write about my academics in these e-mails just as soon as the movie “Hostel” boosts tourism sales. I will go on about cafes, statues, women and pretty much everything else you could pick up from a tourist manual. I will never actually discuss academics, classes or the “study” part of “studying abroad.” But I’ll say plenty about “broads,” am I right dude?!
I make it seem like classes are taught in small cigarette filled cafes. At nights, classes are moved to clubs where I learn more about the exchange rate from American dollars to foreign beer to casual sex with sorority girls from Cal State Chico. There are many girls from Cal State Chico here. I have never actually met a girl remotely near my age that is from the native country and finds me attractive. They are too busy talking in their foreign language, discussing the art and architecture of the local areas, and quite possibly making fun of the stupid American college students who are buying “rat’s piss” beer.
This is the part of the e-mail where I’m supposed to tell you how much I miss you all and declare some large boisterous plans for when I return to campus, most likely involving eating massive quantities of uniquely American food like pizza and red peppers found in pouch form. You probably actually are wishing that I do not return because my e-mail is way too long and you actually forgot that I went abroad. That is to say, though I may miss you, you didn’t know I left campus and instead thought I jumped off the face of the earth and moved to Manzanita Park.
Anyway, although it seems by the length of this e-mail I have way too much time on my hands, I’m going to go to a local bar now and create another international incident. I miss my bros, but as the locales say, “L’Amours des velo encornet.”"